18 episodes · 26th May 2003
It's time to welcome our latest band of road trippers as they embark on the ride of their lives. Abram, a blonde, muscular guy with a boyish face, hasn't known one black person his entire life. He first meets up with Cara, a cute, halter-topped Midwesterner who doesn't really know what she wants to do with her life. Cara reveals that she's scared to be challenged in ways that she's not ready for and expects that this trip will be filled with exactly that kind of thing. ""Cara is kind of a girly girl,"" says Abram. He is quite the astute observer. Further down the beach is Dave who is very anxious and wants to be seen as a carefree guy who carries a guitar. Are guitars like the new ""soul patch?"" Is it a way for guys to show that there is more to them than the business degree and khaki shorts? Christena is whom Dave meets first and she rocks her own accessory, a cowboy hat. Having grown up in an all-white neighborhood, Christena explains that she's just looking for acceptance and
Abram wakes up with a hangover and it's not long before he starts dissing the girls. His attitude about women in general: ""It's a beautiful thing and it's just the hugest pain in the ass sometimes."" Christena worries that Abram is too set in his ways, so she gives him a short course on women while they're chilling in the front seat of the RV and later she half-jokingly tells the girls that they each have to take turns educating him. Abram responds with a resounding ""Noooo,"" but even a guy as clueless about women as he is knows that he's not off the hook yet. Abe makes it clear that although people may not like his personality or some things he does, he's gonna throw down and get the job done come mission time. En route to the location of their second mission, the roadies come upon six large Fijian men dressed in black, holding shovels. It looks like the grim reaper has multiplied. Mission mayors Irene and Russell tell them that this challenge involves a heavy dose of
Abe makes halo wreaths for the girls in what seems like a peace offering attempt. Mary Beth definitely sees Abe's actions changing and she believes he's making an effort. Cara is admiring her wreath and upon learning Abe had to go to the hospital because he cut his hand while making the gifts, she snorts, ""Well, you shouldn't use butter knifes to cut things."" Realizing that was a low blow, she quickly adds, unconvincingly, that she appreciates the gift. Sitting up at the front of the RV with Abe, it seems that Christena is the only one who is making a full-fledged effort to get to know Abe. Their next mission involves competing against a 6'5', 305 pound Island Warrior in a traditional strong man competition. Road Rulers must win two out of three events in order to complete the mission. Event number one entails lifting heavy stones onto a platform. The Roadies misjudge their strength and are unable to complete the mission faster than the strong man. They come back strong in the
Always ready with a quick joke to lighten the mood or a sarcastic remark aimed at one of his teammates, Donell has settled into the position of the resident RV comedian. We learn, though, that he's really good at dishing it out, but positively awful at having it flung back at him. The Roadies receive information about a mission that will take place towards the end of the trip. They are given packets that will assist them in learning certain skills which include: lock picking, Morse code, compass navigation, puzzle and riddle solving, fire building, and the Spanish language. They trade the packets around until they each feel like they have a skill they believe they can master. Dave questions Donell's ability to learn logic puzzles, but doesn't say anything to the group.
In the RV, Dave opens up to Marybeth about his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him. While it was a painful experience, he's stronger for it and happy to be ""officially single."" He provides us with the kind of deep philosophy that we expect from him: ""Happiness is wherever you are."" Dave admits that Marybeth wins for ""Girl He'd Most Like to Hook-Up with on the Trip,"" but doesn't want to pursue anything with her yet for fear of that awful, ugly thing called rejection. Whoops and yells are heard throughout the RV as the Roadies learn they will be traveling to New Zealand for their next mission. Donell is so happy he's doing gymnastics outside the RV. He says his weight has never been a factor in his life. Then he stands on a wooden beam and it breaks. That's a little foreshadowing, folks.
Wearing a baseball cap, Cara complains at lunch that Abe is exhibiting poor table manners (i.e. he's got his elbows on the table). Abe is beginning to notice that there's a double standard emerging. His teammates need him for the missions, but when the missions are over it's ""Abram you're worthless."" Christina observes that Abe came on the trip very opinionated and when his opinions were not accepted well, he became closed off from the group. The Roadies get a clue that some think implies they are going to be in a porn movie. But then they meet Billy, their mission mayor and learn they are going to be taught the fine art of strip dance. To be more specific, the guys will be stripping at a gay club while the girls have to go out and promote their show.
In part deux of last week's episode, the Roadies watch the tape of the Abe and Donell smackdown and are shocked by Abe's extreme anger and violence. Cara and Marybeth tear up and Abe admits he's surprised by how intense and angry he was. The Road Rules producer decides he has no other choice but to send the Montana boy home--Abe doesn't try to dispute the decision. Dave is upset that Abe released his pent-up emotions by slugging Donell. Cara wonders why he crossed the line and Marybeth apologizes for any disrespect and feels guilty about being a little harsh on him. Christena says that the way everybody was treating him was wrong. Donell is pacing, still fuming from the incident, and wants to beat Abe's ass. He holds back because he doesn't want to ruin his experience on the trip by resorting to violence.
On edge since Abe's departure, there has been bickering among the Roadies in the RV. New guy Chris arrives via Taxi as a welcome distraction and the Roadies greet him with a warm welcome and open arms. The girls quickly become ""smitten kittens"" and are attracted to his boyish good looks, which quickly turns into a ""Chris, sit next to me!"" situation. Christena is the most excited for the new arrival, because she now has someone to pal around with. They receive a clue to their next mission, which brings them to a place called Gravity Canyon. Yeah, it's pretty much what you'd picture when hearing those two words, but of course, there's a twist. The mission is dubbed ""Catch Me If You Can."" The Roadies will pair up and one person will dangle over the canyon while the other must leap off a bridge into the arms of their teammate. They must be caught; otherwise they will bungee into the canyon and fail the mission. If they don't catch their teammate.
Cara complains about living in the small RV with five other people. Not enjoying this sort of lifestyle, she is, like, so ready for a hotel stay. Christena reminds her that a true test of a person's character is when he's had everything taken away from him. Cara's secretly hoping that doesn't mean she has to give up her hair spray. Cara and Donell gush about how great it is that they met each other on this trip and how they've helped each other through the hard times thus far. Cue the music: Keep smiling, keep shining... Anyway, you get the picture; schmoopies and hugs are exchanged. The next clue asks if the Roadies are ready to ""dive into their next mission,"" so they meet at an aquatic center to train for the next day's official mission. They learn how to execute a ten meter high dive while Donell masters the art of workin' it in a Speedo. Their mission mayor informs them that they will hit the water at about 60-70 miles an hour and there isn't
Cara's Complaint of the Day: The RV smells like dirty feet. Most of the other Roadies are tired of her nitpicking and think she needs to lighten up and just have a good time. It probably wouldn't hurt if Donell put a hose to his feet every once and a while too. Always playing both sides, Dave says he loves his roommates, but ""some of them bitch so much, I can't even believe it."" Translation: ""Cara is a bitch."" And so the unlikely duo of Cara and Dave decide to spend the day together in Wellington. Cara, in what looks like an attempt to flirt with Dave, says today her mission is to get to know Dave better. Aww, that's cute and not bitchy at all. What she doesn't know is that if she fails this mission, Abe will return to the RV. (Just Kidding, Cara!) Dave says they bond during Cara's ""mission"" and he is glad he got to know her better. He understands her more and admires her for saying what's on her mind. The final verdict: she's one of the ""funniest coolest chicks I know"
Rather than force his other teammates to break the stalemate, Dave votes for Cara to leave. Hardly showing any emotion, Cara says she'll pack her bags and Donell starts BAWL-ling. Cara is sure she got the ""big fat shaft"" but she's not shedding a lot of tears. Frankly, she seems OK with going home with her high heels and the things she learned about herself on the trip. Donell apologizes to his team for causing them to go through the vote-off and Christena and Chris make sure that he is aware that he's just been given a lifeline. This makes Donell more determined than ever to prove that he really deserves to be on the trip. Missing her other half, Mary Beth bonds with Dave over sushi and a day in the park. Later they get drunk and spend the night in a tent on their campsite. The other Roadies are extremely suspicious about what went on between the two of them al fresco and Donell even admits to hearing some distinct sex noises.
Donell and Tina find out they have a lot in common as they get to know each other. D confides in T, telling her that he thinks Mary Beth is as phony as her fake… well, you get the idea. Even though she's only been there a few days, Tina takes Donell's words as the gospel and she says she does not trust or want to get to know Mary Beth. Perhaps Donell is still a little peeved by the fact that Mary Beth wanted to vote him off the island. While hanging out at their campsite, Tina announces she is sexually frustrated. Chris is practically blushing due to her straight forward chit-chat. Tina embarrasses him further by trying to figure out how many girls he has slept with. Chris explains that he looks at women differently now that he's ""given his life to God."" Tina is aptly described by Christena as loud like Cara, yet more ghetto. Chris just wants her to ""kick it down a couple notches."" Not quite finished messing with her new teammates, Tina decides to
The Roadies arrive on the breathtaking island of Tahiti. Tina continues her full court press on Dave, saying she's only doing it to mess with him and make Mary Beth jealous. It's clear by the look on Mary Beth's face that it's working. It's clear by the look on Dave's face that he likes the attention. Once they learn their mission involves using the six skills there were told to master a few weeks ago, most of the Roadies start to cram. But while Mary Beth works on lock-picking, Donell snacks on Doritos and Tina complains about having to learn four languages. Dave is frustrated with Donell who says he wants to switch his ""skill"" to pie-eating. Not able to keep his attention for long, Dave is unable to help Donell with his logic puzzles. Tina decides she needs a tutor and a free meal to help her learn French so she hooks up with Octave who owns a restaurant near where the group has been staying and they have dinner. She insists that she is on the date purely to learn French.
Chris and Dave speculate on what the new guy is gonna be like and they discuss how the newbie Roadie is basically going to win a prize for pretty much doing nothing. If all goes well, he'll be able to claim his handsome reward in just two missions. Jeremy bounces onto the scene and the Roadies immediately notice a positive vibe to Donell's replacement. He wants to bring ""happiness, spirit and energy"" to the team. Perhaps a little too excited to be there, the new kid on the block drinks a lotta too much and makes a fool of himself by hitting on Mary Beth so hard that she's actually getting bruises. OK, so that's as cheesy as Jeremy's pick up lines, but you get the picture. The Roadies admit that it's hard to trust someone they haven't seen perform before and based on Jeremy's irresponsible actions on his first night there, they are a little worried about this guy. Their clue indicates that they should get a lot of rest that night because they'll need it for the mission tomorrow.
In Part Deux of the Road Rules Face Off challenge, Jeremy and Raquel are still flirting. Jeremy is quite smitten, saying Raquel is ""absolutely awesome"" and he ""hasn't felt an attraction like this in a long time."" Raquel appears to be batting her eye lashes in the name of strategy. They don't care how it's done; Campus Crawl is hungry for a win after their loss to those city sinners in Las Vegas last season. Everyone is getting tired, except for Darrell who is bouncing off palm trees and rocks, playing sneaky-deaky to get a South Pacific sleeper on tape. Twenty-seven hours into this mission, the Road Rulers are told they will have to memorize 20 names of past cast members in the correct order. Campus Crawl has a miscommunication about who is to memorize what and they end up losing this task. South Pacific is now ahead two Tiki-weaky statues to one.
Tina is running her loud mouth off about her dislike of Mary Beth again. Tina admits that she personally is self-conscious, but adds that she doesn't try and be fake or something she's not, implying that's what Mary Beth does. Dave is finally wising up to the fact that Tina is trying to make Mary Beth jealous. Tina suggested the two shower, but he knows this would ""cause too many damn problems"" in his life. Not backing down, Tina continues to make overt passes at Dave back in the RV. Mary Beth is not fazed by Tina's actions and says she is childish and immature and she's not fooled by her games. Tina and Mary Beth rehash the fated dinners with the ever-popular Octave and they begin to fight. The claws start to come out and Mary Beth cuts Tina off and tells her she doesn't care what she thinks. Mary Beth is confused because she says she hasn't done anything to personally offend Tina.
The long awaited final mission has finally arrived as the Roadies wind down their tour of the South Pacific. Jeremy, who has barely unpacked his bags, waxes philosophical about how the journey has been long for some, but not long enough for others. Ready to earn the last piece of the tattoo, they learn a brand new car is at stake. The original Roadies thought it would be cool if they sat up at the front of the RV on the way to the last mission. But Chris and Jeremy are offended that the fab three want to create a division in the group at this stage in the game. Christena is not surprised that the arguing and drama runs right up until the last day. At the mission site, they see an obstacle course that looks like a giant suspended puzzle. The Roadies will pair up and must traverse the course. After each pair crosses the platforms together, they must grab a key, which is hanging from a chain, to their Subaru. Of course there's always that.
Rachel and Shane from Road Rules: Campus Crawl introduce the new cast for Road Rules: South Pacific.
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