13 episodes · 13th September 1992
The boys' first day at Lafayette High School is momentous in more ways than one (nervous Benny is almost hysterical): gorgeous Melinda Dean, who Warren hears has ""done stuff"" with some other boys, asks Alan to be her partner for a study project--and invites him to her home to work on it. Meanwhile Aunt Miriam has begun a new career, selling real estate on Long Island, and Grandma tries to steer the Monahans into buying one of her houses.
On Grandpa's birthday, Phyllis and George give him and Grandma a gift, a romantic weekend at the Plaza Hotel--an excursion the Bergers consider until Nathaniel contracts chicken pox. Sophie takes over his care with such vigor, overruling all of Phyllis' instructions, that Phyllis feels thrust in the background of her own child's care and her anger precipitates a quarrel between her and her mother. Meanwhile, Benny stakes out an apartment building in hopes of seeing his favorite baseball player, Duke Snider.
Katie's father, already displeased that his eldest daughter Colleen is earning a living as a Rockette (his dream was for her to become a nun), refuses to give her permission to marry her boyfriend Charlie, saying that they are both too young and that Charlie has no job. Nevertheless, Colleen and Charlie elope, and Lt. Monahan refuses to speak to her since she is not married in the eyes of God. Also: The Silvers finally get a telephone.
Guilt is in the air in Brooklyn: Katie prays to be spared from her history exam, then is devastated when her teacher, the tough Sister Rafael, dies--guilty to the point where she blames Alan and eventually vows to become a nun. In the meantime, both Grandma and Nathaniel make the Silvers feel guilty about shopping at Fairmart, the supermarket that gives trading stamps, rather than at the neighborhood grocery.
After Glee Club practice, Alan is collared by Jimmy Vinceguera, a Lafayette High School hood who overheard him singing--apparently Bruno Mazzarelli, the lead singer in his rock group, the V-Necks, was arrested, and he wants Alan to act as substitute in a radio contest. But, as Alan practices, he is caught up in the ""excitement"" of being rebellious, and drawn into the boys' objectionable behavior as well as into their music. In the meantime, Nicholas tells Nathaniel they have to give up playing cowboy if they want to ""become"" teenagers, but Grandpa nips that in the bud by agreeing to play with them.
The entire family welcomes Sophie's cousin Jacob, the last of her family to arrive in America to start a new life. Everyone pitches in to show him the treats of living in Brooklyn, with Grandma almost hysterically determined that he be happy. But she refuses to let Alan and Nathaniel know that he lost his wife Anna and two sons Josef, age fifteen, and David, age eleven, to the concentration camps. It turns out Grandma has always felt guilty for somehow not making Jacob and his family leave Poland before the Nazis invaded.
When the family learns Katie's sister is pregnant and she and her husband are moving to California where he has a good job, they help Katie plan a shower for her, but Lieutenant Monahan is still hurt that Colleen was not married in the Church. But a chat with Cousin Jacob, who has taken a job painting the Monahans' apartment, may convince him of what's really important. In the meantime, Nicholas and Sid teach George and Jules the finer points of betting on the ponies.
George takes a second job selling encyclopedias with Uncle Willy to make ends meet after the family refrigerator starts failing. After an abortive start, he soon becomes salesman of the month--he even convinces Sid to buy a set!--buying not only a new refrigerator but bicycles for the boys, and finally reducing his hours at the post office so he can sell full time. Then he has second thoughts after he reads one of the contracts closely and discovers the payment conditions seem a bit shady.
As she leaves Sid's store after arranging to hold Nathaniel's birthday party there, Sophie breaks his front window while tossing a ball to Benny; while she is more than willing to pay for the damage, she wishes to go with the lowest bidder ($85 from Simpson's) instead of a repair made by Sid's uncles ($179). When Sid disagrees, an alarming escalation of hostilities occurs, starting with a rabbinical arbitration and deteriorating to legal action that culminates with Sid refusing to serve the boys and cancelling Nathaniel's party.
While Alan and his friends prepare for their first high school dance, Nathaniel asks questions about dating and George and Phyllis make arrangements to go to Ben Maksik's Town and Country Club. The night of the dance Sid plans to take out a girl named Flora in a gorgeous brand-new 1957 Edsel borrowed from his sister's husband, but unfortunately neither Flora or Benny's date, Becky Abromowitz, show up, leaving the two to discuss life and love while waiting at the store. Meanwhile, Grandma and Grandma make a ""date"" to play cards with Nathaniel.
Phyllis invites an old school friend and her husband to a dinner party at the Silvers', but as the night progresses she and George are left uncomfortable by their constant bickering, while Grandma disapproves because the rest of the family wasn't invited to join them. In the meantime, Nathaniel mourns the loss of The Buccaneers, a favorite Saturday night program that's been replaced by Perry Mason.
George is upset when his sister Alice arrives for a visit to discuss selling his parents' bungalow at Mountaindale in the Catskills, remembering the good times the family has always had there and fearing they are losing part of their heritage; in the meantime, Phyllis is offered a promotion--but at the expense of Emma Brooks, the office manager who's been her mentor.
The boys are listening to the World Series when the news comes through that the Russians have launched Sputnik. As the time comes for Sputnik to pass over the United States, everyone's growing fear that the Russian satellite may somehow attack them leads to revelations and confessions.
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